UNIVERSAL TRUTH #1 - KEITH RICHARDS IS ICKY

I have a friend, a young one. She’s in her mid to late 20s but has the innocence of a 12-year old who's rarely been let out of the house. I suspect her parents are quite conservative.

She doesn’t drink, smoke or date. She also has no ego and little reverence for fame. She’s a flight attendant who works on high-end charters such as sports teams and rock groups.

She doesn’t know the sports or the player's names, but she knows what each of the players like to drink. It’s quite odd watching a hockey game when she’s around. They’ll show a close-up of a famous player and she’ll point to him and say “Hey, there’s Cranberry and sprite!”

Anyway, she was doing a stint as flight attendant for the Rolling Stones, when Keith Richards asked her out. She describes it this way.

Keith: Mmmm. Say you wanna go and have dinner or something mmmm?
Her: No thanks.
Keith: Mmmmmm why’s that? Ah you don’t like me?
Her: You smell of tobacco.

Turning away, she then goes into the galley where she’s quickly met by a female member of the band’s entourage.

Groupie: Did Keith Richards just ask you out?
Her: Yes he did. I said no.
Groupie: Why the f*&k did you do that?
Her: (pointing to Keith) Just look at him. He’s so ICKY!

I love ya Keith but truer words have never been spoken.